As a child, I remember imagining what my future would be. This would include my future job, boyfriend/husband, children, car, dog, and even home. It was always hard to determine what my future would be because my then present life was always changing. Family members came and went as did friends. My ideal future reflected this change because it changed just as often. One day I'd want to be a bus driver when I grew up so I would perch a lawn chair on top of the couch and place a can of Coke next to it and make car noises all day long. Another day I would want to be a doctor so I would dispense candy that would be my pretend medicine to friends afterschool. (This definitely was not any indication that I would sell drugs in the future because I never did and never will do that). And one day I decided that I wanted to be a teacher. Too bad I have little patience and understanding to deal with 25 kids. Kudos to those who can! In all of those fantasies, I always had the same future -- I would go to college, get a job, drive a sports car, and be married by 25. So I've accomplished two out of the five. I don't think that is bad at all after you realize that 25 is way too young to be married. When you're 10, you don't realize how young 25 is and how quickly it comes at you. When you're 10 you also don't realize how much a Ferrari or Corvette costs so you think you can buy it as easily as Barbie can. Somedays I feel like I let go of some of my dreams when faced with reality. For example, with college, I always dreamed of moving to New York City or Boston and attending some city school. But when it was time to apply to college, I never even bothered to apply to a city school because I knew deep down that financially it wouldn't be possible. Reality set in. So I look around at my life and I wonder whether or not I went after my dreams or settled for what was realistic and safe. I realize that some decisions I have to make in life have to be practical and well thought out but I don't want to make the mistake of losing my hopes and dreams. Did I really want to live in here or was it just practical? Was taking the job a good move for me or my financial future? Those are two different things. As I get older, I lose sight of my hopes. In fact, I'm not sure what my hopes and dreams for the future are today. I'm just feeling exhausted trying to get everything done in the alloted 24 hours we have. While trying to grow up and make adult decisions, I feel less idealistic and more practical. For example, I wouldn't go on vacation for the longest time because I knew I should save money for graduate school and a down payment on a place of my own. So my pledge today is to make sure that I don't lose sight of my hopes and dreams. To remember that idealism is just as important as realism (am I making up words?) I feel that without hopes and dreams I will lose a big part of who I am. Now if only I could figure out hat my hopes and dreams are.... | 
